Santa’s Slay, 2005

The film is a Canadian-American Christmas and slasher comedy movie that stars the professional wrestler Mr. Bill Goldberg as the Santa Claus. This movie is under the writer and director David Steiman.

Cast Lists

  • Douglas Smith appeared as Nicholas Yuleson
  • Bill Goldberg appeared as Santa Claus
  • Apache appeared as Santa’s Helldeer
  • Robert Culp appeared as Grandpa           
  • Emilie de Ravin appeared as Mary McKenzie       
  • Joan Dunham appeared as the random grandmother      
  • Kevin Gillese appeared as the disgruntled youth
  • Kendall Garwryluk appeared as the random father
  • Tom ‘Tiny’ Lister appeared as the gas station attendant  
  • Saul Rubinek appeared as Mr. Green
  • Michael David Simms appeared as Cap. Officer Caulk
  • Scott Francis Gibson appeared as the place kicker S.W.N.D.S.U.
  • Annie Sorell appeared as Taylor Mason
  • Rebecca Gayheart appeared as Gwen Mason
  • Donald Bland appeared as the bouncer
  • James Caan appeared as Darren Mason
  • Fran Drescher appeared as Virginia Mason
  • Donna Zuk appeared as Mrs. Talbot
  • Jimmy Herman appeared as Vinny
  • Chris Kattan appeared as Jason Mason
  • Alicia Loren appeared as Beth Mason
  • Ronnie appeared as Santa’s Helldeer
  • Dave Thomas appeared as Pastor Timmons

Narrative

During Christmas Eve, Mason family is bickering with regards to their wealth and some other material possessions while they are eating their Christmas dinner when suddenly Santa Claus comes down their chimney and killed them all in different graphic displays of the Christmas-themed violence, like the drowning of the matriarch Virginia in eggnog, by using the star over the Christmas tree as the ninja star and then stabbing the hands of the patriarch to the table together with silverware and then suffocating him through stuffing the leg of a turkey inside his mouth.

Traveling on his sleigh drove by the “hell-deer” a Buffalo-like Beast, then, Santa arrived at the Hell Township and then destroys the locals in different holiday-themed ways. While in one of the killings, Santa slaughters an occupant of the local strip club, numerous by Pastor Timmons, the crooked minister, that handles to endure a massacre. Later on, Santa murdered a local Jewish delicatessen landlord Mr. Green, by using his personal menorah.

In the mean time, the teenager Nicholas Yuleson was living with his grandfather who is crazy, the crackpot inventor that had built the bunker in the basement to endure Christmas. When Nicholas asked Grandpa, why he hated Christmas, he flashed a “Book of Klaus”, that revealed the history of Santa Claus. It seems that Santa was the outcome of the virgin birth that is produced by Satan. Christmas had been “Day of Slaying” to Santa until 1005 A.D, when the angel defeated him in the curling match and then sentenced him to give the presents on Christmas day for a thousand years and it will only mean that Santa is just free to murder again in 2005.

Writer’s Notion

This is one of the best Christmas movies EVER! It is expected that you will laugh about how bad it can be, but then, you will get surprised and amazed to discover that we were all really laughing at all. The truth is that, we were all laughing the whole way through. The movie had the great gags, some of the fantastic cameos, and with the Jewish wrestler that played as Santa Claus.

There are only 2 things to hold against this movie. First the main actor is a bit weak and the CG could have benefited from most of the expense. Otherwise, it is really one of those brilliant films. This movie is the first movie to honor the real great sport of twisting, the flying bison, strippers, Caulk jokes and Goldberg. Plus swearing old ladies and swearing children is one new holiday tradition.

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